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Kenningsology

Note: The following article contains information that was found to be untrue. The existence of Kodee and Dan Hennings, and Colleen Hastings was a hoax. 

Click to Read, DE duped in hoax

Kenningsology
By Kodee Kennings

editor@siu.edu

Guess what. Did you know that there?s a hocky team in Chicago? There really is and they are good at it. They skate and carry big sticks maybe like that presadent in history. It?s a fun game and its fast and like football and baseball, there is a loser and that was St. Luis.

They maybe could have won but they lost instead. You know what? They lost becuse they lost there tempers. They played really bad when they lost there tempers and so they lost and the Steels got better. Guess what.

The Steel team has flags on there hellmates. They are patriotic and they like America. Hocky players are not soldiers, so they don?t get salooted. I got to meat them and they are nice. They don?t have big heads even though there hellmats are big. but they have big hands.

Have you seen the gloves for them? They are really big. One guy, his name is Dan, like my dad. His last name is Charelstin, though, but he?s still hooah. He is number 13 but he is still lucky and he has a lot of fathe. He is nice. He said he was prowd of my dad. He likes soldiers. He got me a stick signed by all the players. It is autografted so you can?t play with it because may be its worth a whole lot. Its posabill. They are good at ther jobs.

Another hocky player was Matt Vane. He's big. He smiles a hole lot. His number is 17. That?s a good number. He is hooah to but don?t let the hair cut fool you ? he?s not a soldier. You know what? He?s still in high school, but he?ll get out some time. He thought my dad?s job was a good one because he protecked America.

Guess what. Theres another hocky player. His name is Shon Hurly. I think his number was 11. You know what he did? He kept coming over to my side and hiting the wall where I was with his glove and stick. He smiled when he did that. I think he was trying to look strong. But see I think he accidentaly forgot what side he was on becuse he may be should have done that to the other side becus I already new he was strong.

Trust me you can just tell.

He smiles a whole lot to, but this girl kept smiling at him so may be he was trying to land her. And guess what. Theres this guy that has the same name as a dwarf. He?s not short though. He?s just got the aditude. His name is Grumpy. I think he?s really not grumpy. But he has to pratend to be grumpy because if he didn?t then people might think he?s not tough. He?s tough though, but it sucks he has to do all that lawndry.

I think he needs a secratary or may be a wife. He gave me the puck that got used in the game. It was really beat up, but that?s what is cool. That shocked my dad. The locker room smeled really funny. It smelled like a whole bunch of boys. It smelled like my dad?s soldiers after pt. When I get big I want to be a soldier like my dad. And a jernalist like Michael. And a garbage man. And a hocky player. And the guy who hooks planes in on the base on the side.

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