The Daily Egyptian is published by the students of SIU at Carbondale. Except during vacations and exam weeks, The Daily Egyptian is published Monday through Friday during the fall and spring semesters and TWThF during the summer semester."

Bush critics display post-election hysterics

Wednesday evening I get a call from one of my cinema buddies. He informs me that one of our professors was so angry about the election that she came in, started a video, and left the room without saying a word! Excuse me, but I don't think Bush getting elected removes the tuition we paid for the faculty's services. This professor had better be glad I wasn't in the class, or there would've been words. "You get back in here right now and lecture so I can get my money's worth by sleeping through it!"

Thursday morning I go to class, and two rows in front of me is a pudgy guy in a grey shirt.

On the front of this, he wrote "F@#K GEORGE W. BUSH" in magic marker, while reserving the back to "F@#K" all things associated with the right wing like Fox News. Included in that list was "F@#K THE MILITARY." As angered by this particular line as I was, I figured it wouldn't get me anywhere to tell this guy to "F@#K" himself. He most likely was just starved for attention. Now he has it. Hopefully he'll take that shirt down to the strip on a Friday night and attract the attention of a U.S. Marine on leave.

Friday I'm greeted with more leftist crybaby onslaught. In the Voices section of the DAILY EGYPTIAN that day was probably one of the most arrogant and acid-tongued things I've ever read ["Bush won: Time to leave the country," pg. 6].

Allow me to explain something. When I came to SIUC two years ago, I was an independent moderate. Reading things like that column and being subjected to the nonstop ultra-left homilies spewing from the front of this school's lecture halls have played a big part in pushing me to the right.

Friday night I come across "Heartland News" on TV. One segment interviewed a bunch of people in New York crying - yes, CRYING - over the Bush victory. One particular person in New York Friday night was taking it especially hard. According to Newsday.com, Andrew Veal, a research worker from University of Georgia, was so sombered by Bush's re-election that he went to Ground Zero and blew his head off.

I've thought long and hard on how best to articulate my thoughts in a diplomatic and pacified way, and here it is: What the hell is wrong with you people?

How could any of you justify talking down to Bush supporters - or talking down to anyone - when you're this screwed up? My parents never really liked Bill Clinton, but after his election and re-election I don't remember them saying, "We're just... eh... how can they... oh God, we're just so angry at Americans right now! Those blue-state idiots should burn in Hell!" I remember them saying something to the extent of, "Well, that's too bad. Oh well, hope he does a good job."

That doesn't seem to be the reaction I'm hearing around campus. For some of you, the fact that not everyone thinks like you is so perplexing that you're ready to give up and leave the country altogether, perhaps heading to pinker pastures in Canada.

Sweet Jesus, GO! It won't be any big loss to the rest of us. I've even mapquested it for you. Just take I-57 north to Chicago, catch I-80 heading east and shortly thereafter pick up I-94. Continue your eastward route. If all goes to plan, you should be passing through Detroit and heading into Windsor in just over nine hours.

So for those of you who are serious, call Mommy and Daddy to wire you some money for traveling expenses. When they ask the reason, tell them that your left-wing professor has enlightened you to the nature of the fascist theocracy we live in and that you're desperately trying to escape it. That, above all, should make your parents feel like they've invested in a worthy education for their child.

Oh, and one more thing. On your way out of the country, drop off a few more rants like that Friday column to the Daily Egyptian offices. Hopefully they'll print them. Oh God, I hope they print them. I have a feeling each one of those things spawns 10 more conservatives.

John is a senior in cinema and photography. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the DAILY EGYPTIAN.

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