Family is what really matters

Rivanna Abel
history and secondary education

Dear Editor:

I've heard my share of moralizing sermons and ranting diatribes. Generally, I am unmoved by these extremes. I am one to follow examples rather than ultimatums, and neither lifestyle - the pro-life, nor the pro-choice - is very appealing thus far. For the most part this is because I am a family-oriented woman, and as far I'm concerned, both arguments presented here are anti-family.

Yes, yes, I know, how can I say such a thing about groups equally passionate about saving lives and women's rights? It is mostly because unless there's a family at home, saving the life is worth less than returning it to God. But also because what good are the rights if we aren't going to be responsible with them?

Family is less of a nuclear reaction and more of an organic perennial at my house; it is created daily within our community. Looking at larger society, however, family is simply a social construct that has been continuously degraded over the past century. The institution of public schooling, the terror that is the modern workweek and the farce of maternity/paternity leave have left vast chasms in the fabric of the family.

Historically, it has been the bastion of women to protect, raise and guide the family. As this has been the case, it is not so much a right to choose her form of birth control, as it is a responsibility. Parents (mothers) are the prime advocates for children until those minors are old enough to represent themselves. This job includes the initial decision to bring the child into the world (or not to do so). To remove this from the shoulders of women (and the family) would be to place it in the hands of the state. This in turn would do two things: relegate women to a status of inferiority in need of guardianship themselves and increase the workload of DCFS.

This replacement of responsibility would still do nothing positive for the bigger picture or for the future of the family. Women would not be learning to be more responsible. Communities would not be more supportive of families, nor would they be creating lasting bonds for their children to rely upon. And these are the real issues that have to be addressed.

So, my suggestion is that we do less negative debating and more positive action to resolve the root of the problem. Whether or not women are allowed abortions, families are being undermined daily, and this is what needs to be stopped.

Rivanna Abel
community member, mom, foster parent, senior, history and secondary education

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