I am warning you

LeNie Adolphson
Daily Egyptian

Last week on the Today Show, a professor and an attorney were on the program discussing McDonald's.

Now, as we all know, McDonald's has become the whipping boy, so to speak, for the campaign against obesity. McDonald's is fast taking over where tobacco ended.

Apparently, with the numerous lawsuits against big tobacco, the well is beginning to go dry, so now it's time to find a fresh reserve of cash. Especially since we are deluged on a daily basis with dire stories of diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease.

Therefore, since we live in a culture of blame seekers, someone or some company must pay for the 60 percent of overweight Americans.

Apparently, attorneys and their fat clients see a cash cow in McDonald's. After all, they are a multi-billion-dollar corporation, and why shouldn't attorneys and hospitals capitalize off the billion-dollar baby?

The professor on the Today Show advocated that McDonald's place warning labels on food. Essentially, the warning labels would read: "OK you big fat dummy, this Big Mac will probably give you a heart attack and make you obese if you consume it on a regular basis." I suppose the nutritional information, which is available at McDonald's and on its web page isn't enough of a warning.

The professor also blamed McDonald's for creating an epidemic of obese children. I suppose parents had no part to play in allowing their children to eat Happy Meals every day.

Many people have said these lawsuits will be thrown out because they are obviously frivolous, but eventually one of these lawsuits may be heard.

The bottom line is that individuals like the professor want to blame fast food restaurants for health conditions of our own choosing. These diseases are serious and not to be ridiculed, but many are caused by lifestyle issues.

I have visited McDonald's several times, and I have yet to see anyone who worked for the company force me or anyone else to dine at the establishment. As a matter of fact, I have often been irate at the long wait to ingest those hot fries.

Yet, I feel if we are to begin forcing fast food restaurants to put warning labels on food, let's not stop there. Let's put warning labels on everything and everybody.

For example, wouldn't it be cool if a guy met a beautiful woman and there was a warning label on her that read: "Beware, this woman is likely to be insanely jealous and stalk you like Jason at a campground."

Moreover, wouldn't it be good if a woman met a gorgeous man and a warning label was attached to him that read: "Caution, after the second date this guy is likely to become as cheap as a cup of coffee in 1929."

Additionally, I think warning labels should come on universities. Students should be warned: "Beware, the tuition rate you started with as a freshman is subject to increase every year, and you will never understand all the fees, so don't bother asking."

I also feel that, as a parent, when my children were born they should have come with a warning label. It should have read: "Careful, this creature may scream all night and at 16 years old stay out all night while you pace the halls until you are dizzy."

Furthermore, as Americans, I think it would help to have warning labels on our candidates for public office. For example, we could be warned that a candidate is subject to lie, manipulate and say whatever it takes to win your vote. Even though we believe most politicians are crooks, the warning label would confirm our suspicions and we would discover the few who believed in decency.

Since warning labels are being pushed so heavily, common sense should immediately be tossed to the side. If there isn't a warning label, then apparently it is acceptable to participate in ridiculous activities such as the stunts seen on the popular television show, Jackass. After all, if MTV didn't warn me not to get in a grocery cart and propel myself down a large flight of steps, I would be in that cart getting pushed off the ledge. Thanks, MTV, for warning me.

Finally, this is the last warning to you readers. Beware, there is a chance on Wednesdays you may open the paper and there will be a column that enrages, engages or simply amuses the reader. Thanks, you have been warned.

Having My Say appears every other Wednesday. LeNie is a senior in history. Her views do not necessarily reflect those of the Daily Egyptian.

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