The Daily Egyptian is published by the students of SIU at Carbondale. Except during vacations and exam weeks, The Daily Egyptian is published Monday through Friday during the fall and spring semesters and TWThF during the summer semester."

Outta here-hopefully

This is the end.

No more SIU, no more Salukis, no more Dr. Seuss columns. I'm done.

Pending a stroke of unprecedented academic failure, this is the last column I will ever write for the Daily Egyptian. I 'm not going to lie to you - this is depressing.

I love this place.

I love the city of Carbondale, I love the SIU campus, I love the atmosphere in the SIU Arena and I've learned to tolerate the 20 mph speed limit.

Even more so, I've grown attached to the Daily Egyptian newsroom.

I love the camaraderie of pumping out a sports section, I love seeing my name in the paper every day and I love the freedom I have here. I'll never experience anything like this again, and it's tough to leave it all behind.

I've made some mistakes in my time here - being too negative early in my career, raking excessive muck, being generally untrustworthy for a while and asking a few dumb questions - but I've learned from them and will be leaving SIU with one hell of a life education.

I now know how much I can drink without dying, how to get along with the opposite sex and how to live on my own. But most importantly, I'm leaving with what amounts to a PhD in sports journalism I could not have gotten anywhere else.

I have written 400 stories, have won some awards and have completed two internships in Springfield and St. Louis. I have a pretty padded resume, and I have a million people to thank for it.

Anyone who knows me knows I am too stupid to do mostly anything on my own. Before I came in to work yesterday, I spent 45 minutes looking for my keys.

But despite my idiocy, I will have a career as a sportswriter, and I want to take time to thank those people who made it possible. I could have never done this by myself.

Thank you to...

God - You gave me the ability to write, and I pray you never take it away. I didn't find you until my freshman year, and you know I love you. I hope athletes continue to recognize you as they do here at SIU. Mom - You made me a sports nut. From the first time you taught me how to keep score at a baseball game, I've been hooked. Dad - You stopped just short of pushing me out the door, and I'm better for it. We pursued our dreams together and I am now a sportswriter, and you are a professional artist. Grandma - For being my biggest fan. The readers - Thank you for reading and keeping me employed, and thank you for all your criticism and praise. I read every single e-mail, especially all those from Dr. Dianna Reusch. Lance Speere - You made me care, and you are a truly gifted teacher. Bill Recktenwald - You taught me how to conduct interviews, got me a free-lancing gig with the Chicago Tribune and have helped me greatly in my current job search. By the way, I love that "Hope Springs Eternal" drawing you gave me. Mike Lawrence - You got me into Springfield and helped me become a column writer. Kodee Kennings - For keeping me young. Brett Nauman and Jay Schwab - For taking a chance on an unknown kid. Jim Ruppert - For giving me the Springfield gig.

Larry Starks - For giving me the St. Louis internship and giving me a chance to cover some big events.

Al Murphy - You taught me that real work sucks and helped me get down here. The University of Tennessee financial aid office - Your red tape prevented me from wasting time in Knoxville, and you helped get me to Carbondale.

Mrs. Rudunzel - For nurturing my dementia.

Weird Al Yankovic - For inspiring my dementia.

Sonya Locke and the 2002 SIU volleyball team - Volleyball was my first beat and it could not have been any better. That year was incredible, and I'm an SIU volleyball fan for life. Bruce Weber and the 2003 SIU men's basketball team - I had fun, and you guys were hosed by that referee.

Jerry Kill and the SIU 2004 football team - It's a shame it didn't work out, but it was a privilege to cover you.

Paul Kowalczyk - For always returning my phone calls and giving me good teams to cover. I know I left some people out, but you know who you are. Thank you for helping me pursue my dreams, and thank you for caring about me.

Over the years, I like to think I've been a unique person to read, so I want my final word in my career as a Daily Egyptian columnist to be one that has never been printed in this paper before.

When people speak of me in the future, and I guarantee they won't, tell them my final word was - Supercalifragilisticexpyaladocious.