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Sponsored by 710 BookStore - - - http://www.seventen.com/'Date Movie' is a disaster
Movie is horrible even by February standards
Tom Poon
Pulse Reporter
"Date Movie" is a film parody like "Airplane," "Blazing Saddles" and "Naked Gun." But that's where their similarities end. The aforementioned films were funny. "Date Movie" is not.
"Date Movie" is written and directed by Jason Freidberg and Adam Seltzer, who were also part of the writing team that put out the first three installments of the "Scary Movie" series. Rather than lampooning horror films, "Date Movie" takes a shot at genre of romantic comedies like "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," "My Best Friend's Wedding," "The Wedding Planner" and "Hitch." The result is an unmitigated disaster.
Somehow, the producers of this God-awful movie forgot to do the single most important thing in a movie parody - make the audience laugh!
How bad was the movie? The theater I viewed "Date Movie" in was half full and so quiet that you would think we were watching "The Passion of the Christ."
In a movie that was longer than an hour and a half, only once did the audience even chuckle, and that was for a scene already shown in the commercials (a cat using a toilet).
Scene after scene, the writers flog the audience with one pitiful gag after another. From stale Michael Jackson pedophile jokes to J-Lo's enormous rear end, the audience is constantly tortured by the unfunny sophomoric writing of Freidberg and Seltzer.
It's hard to understand why she signed on for this movie, but Alyson Hannigan of "American Pie" fame plays the lead role of Julia Jones. In this stew of bad pop culture jokes, Jones is a 300-pound girl desperately looking for the right man. To find her man, Jones enlists the help of a Mini-Me version of Hitch and is taken to a garage for a "Pimp My Ride"-style makeover of her body. She feels the pressure of having to marry a man her father (Eddie Griffin) has picked, but Jones later falls for Grant Fonckyerdoder (Adam Campbell).
Instead of focusing on the quality of the skits, which would require actual thought, the producers carpet bomb the audience with everything from Paris Hilton to bum fights. Instead of a screenplay, this movie is more like a peek into the stream of consciousness of unfunny drunk and obnoxious frat boys.
An example of how mindless and random the scenes are can be explained in their "Lord of the Rings" skit. The writers thought it would be funny to include Frodo selling The Ring to a jewelry store for $50. When Gandalf tries to stop Frodo, the furry-footed hobbit kicks him in the groin.
If you're wondering what a kick to the groin feels like, go watch this movie.
Directed by: Jason Freidberg and Adam Seltzer
Starring: Alyson Hannigan, Eddie Griffin
Running time: 1 hour 23 minutes
Gus heads: 0 Gus heads
The Daily Egyptian, the student-run newspaper of SIUC, is committed to being a trusted source of information, commentary and public discourse while helping readers understand the issues affecting their lives.
The Daily Egyptian is published by the students of SIU at Carbondale. Except during vacations and exam weeks, The Daily Egyptian is published Monday through Friday during the fall and spring semesters and TWThF during the summer semester. The Pulse, Carbondale Entertainment Guide, is published once a week on Thursday.Last update: Wednesday, February 22, 2006 at 7:58:40 PM
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