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Daily Egyptian - Arts & Entertainment - Carbondale, Illinois
Sick wit it
Jason SerenoIt's that time of year again - the time that everyone gets sick and wishes they were dead.
If you work in a highly populated place like I do, you've probably been dreading the inevitable illnesses that tear through your workplace during the fall and winter seasons. I've been able to slowly watch the bug spread across the DE newsroom and come across my desk. And I was helpless to stop it.
What's even more disheartening is that I know I am spreading the disease around to others - people in class, my roommates and strangers I come in contact with. Just as I despise those who passed the hindrance on to me, I am now acting as a carrier of this wretched disease.
If you notice any of the following symptoms, consult a physician immediately, buy enough cough syrup to make the Wal-Mart cashier run a background check on you, lock yourself in your room and pray the whole ordeal will be over soon.
The morning hockers: smokers are famous for hacking up a lung in the shower each morning, but for those people who don't smoke, the morning phlegm is something that takes a little getting used to. What's worse than the actual process of dropping a loogy down the drain is seeing what color the thick, wretched mucus has manifested into. The browner the goo, the sicker you are.
One nostril syndrome: nasal blockage might be the most annoying symptoms of getting a cold. Having to close one nostril while furiously blowing out the other one cannot only result in temporary loss of hearing, but could also cause a pinched nerve or pulled muscle. Nasal spray is an alternative, but can become addictive. Seriously, I read that somewhere. Coughing fits: Coughing is something that you can never get used to. Sitting in class and feeling the need to hold in your sporadic bursts of disease is not only embarrassing, but can turn your face as red as a brick. And it's really gross.
Stupidity: I don't know about you, but whenever I get sick, my brain works about twice as slow as it normally does. Although my cranium might not always run on all cylinders, having a cold is just too preoccupying. The brainwaves just don't travel as they should, and the result is uttered out in the form of several "ums" and "duhs."
Overactive sweat glands: unlike the warmer seasons in Carbondale when book bag-induced sweat spots plague our campus, having cold sweats can last all day, no matter what the temperature is. Even though it may be colder outside, people wear warmer clothes, thus producing more sweat and adding to the chance of becoming sicker.
Stay in bed-idous: Ultimately all of the symptoms lead up to one thing - not wanting to get out of bed in the morning. Some people have enough trouble hitting the snooze bar repeatedly at the start of each day. An untimely illness can cause these people to become seemingly bedridden. After temporarily giving up on life for a while, getting back in the game can take some time.
Perhaps the biggest pain about getting sick is feeling compelled to whine. Being ill is a good excuse to tell your sob story to anyone who will listen, but why share your feelings of blah with those around you? There's no reason to make them feel bad too - unless you have a column to write and the only thing you can think to write about is how crappy you feel.
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Last update: Thursday, November 11, 2004 at 5:22:10 AM
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