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Daily Egyptian - Arts & Entertainment - Carbondale, Illinois
The death of rock n' roll
Somewhere along the line, rock n' roll killed itself.The documentation of the death didn't have to come from Lenny Kravitz or a coporate magazine either. The essence of rock n' roll has been dead for quite some time, only it seems that which each day that passes, its body sinks deeper and deeper into the earth.
So when did rock n' roll kick the proverbial bucket? Was it when the guys in Aerosmith sold their musical souls to Pepsi? Did it happen with the first premature release of a greatest hits album? Or was its death imminent from its conception?
With shows such as "Behind the Music" and the release of the movie "Rockstar" (which exploited every truism about rock), artists now know they can't live like their pioneering forefathers did. Instead of living life in the fast lane, rock musicians are content with carpooling to practice sessions and phoning in their lyrics.
The Pulse has gathered a list of reasons that may have lead to the demise of rock music.
Some of the reasons are clichés that surround the lifestyle, while others involve the commercialization of the music and its dive into a bland musical wasteland.
Everyone is out to get me!
Despite what the conspiracy theorists believe or make up to further their vicarious lives, Elvis isn't kept 50 feet below Area 51. Claims that the CIA killed Jimi Hendrix, or Courtney Love shot Curt Cobain are much sexier than what the coroner reports stated, but that's why we call these rockers "legends."
As far as the law goes, getting busted will probably always go hand-in-hand with Rock n' Roll. But not every star has gone as far as Jim Morrison, who urinated into a crowd, or the Keith Richards, the king of drug arrests during the late 60s and 70s.
Alan Freed, the radio DJ who coined the phrase "Rock n' Roll" on a Cleveland radio station on July 5, 1954, was arrested for inciting riots at the Boston Arena in 1958. He was also later charged with two counts of bribery.
Ozzy Osborne was told politely not to come back to the Alamo after urinated on the historical site in February of 1982. The ban, which covered the whole city of San Antonio, Texas, was later lifted in 1992.
Years later, Marilyn Manson completes the circle when he is banned from playing the entire state of New Jersey, and subsequently misses every Ozzfest date in the Garden State.
Girls! Girls! Girls!
Perhaps the most lucrative aspect in the world of Rock music is the amount of the opposite sex that swarms to the rockers. It's not just the lead singer or guitar player who can make good on the road though. The bass players, drummers, and the roadies can all rake in the rewards of a successful band.
However, after the release of Cameron Crowe's "Almost Famous," which follows a young journalist's foray into the world of a 70s rock band and their "groupies," was released, "band aides" were looked at in a whole new light.
Damn you Kate Hudson (who is married to Chris Robinson from the Black Crowes).
Good show, will you marry me?
Now more and more stars opt for the altar instead of rolling the dice on the road by engaging in casual sex. But without the classic promiscuous rock n roll behavior, Lord of the Ring fans everywhere would never have had the pleasure of gazing at the angelic Liv Tyler.
Also making the compilation of rock n' roll clichés: Dating someone in the band. Lindsey Buckingham and vocalist Stevie Nicks from Fleetwood Mac set the precedent from this cliché. But their parting of ways, as well as relationships from other members in the group sparked the hit album, "Rumors."
Since then, bands such as No Doubt and Roxette have capitalized from exploiting relationships - real or false - within their bands. It's too bad not everyone can ride the joyride.
Drugs! Drugs! Drugs!
Sex, ___ and rock n' roll. What's missing in that equation?
Drug overdoses are probably the most cliché part of the rock n' roll lifestyle. Anyone who watches VH1 for more than a few hours a day can tell you about Tommy Lee passing out with a needle full of whiskey in his arm, or the sad, sad story of Leif Garrett.
But even more cliché is the obligatory rock rehab. Let's take it 12 step by 12 step: 1) An artist realizes, or is told his band, that he has a drug problem, or drinking problem, or both. 2) The rocker decides he has had enough and wants to go straight. 3) The musician checks himself in to a high-profile clinic. 4) After spending a few months getting his head straight, he leaves and goes back to his bandmates, who are waiting for him with open arms. 5) The musician has relapse number one.
6) The artist goes to a different, more expensive rehab facility, spends more time there and comes back seriously clean and sober. 7) The band members, who are a little resilient at first, decide to welcome the struggling star back into the band. 8) The band makes it in the studio, but the addictions start to surface again. 9) This time the addict is serious. He goes to another rehab facility, after it is suggested from a once addicted movie star, and swears to stay sober.
10) The band, even more resilient, welcomes their friend back. 11) The group enters the studio and begins to record an album. 12) Their fans hate the record and blame the singer's clean and sober mentality as the reason the music sucks.
Then the band breaks up and is sent into rock n' roll obscurity.
Rock propaganda?
We can't blame this one on just John Lennon or Cat Stevens. These days everyone from Bono to Alice Cooper feels the need to chime in with his two cents about the way our country should run.
And why shouldn't it be like this? Rockers like these have more than enough money to throw around to political campaigns and organizations. But it's pretty obvious that Michael Stipe, Dave Mathews and Bruce Springsteen didn't have the star power to sway enough voters to the John Kerry ticket. Talk about a teenage wasteland.
Fashion senselessness
Rockers made famous those tight pleather pants that now plague the music landscape. And if you think that rockstars don't wear the slacks that can cutoff circulation anymore, go to a concert and check it out for yourself. It's still there right in front of your eyes. All of it.
What's worse is that these tight pants come in an assortment of colors, leaving the rockstar a large variety of ugly pants to manage. The artist is also allowed to dress himself, which is usually a drastic mistake.
Other fashion faux pas include: crazy facial hair; making up for a diminishing hairlines (a la' Brett Michaels) with do-rags and a long mane in back; spurs on cowboy boots; gloves with the fingers cutoff; and jean jackets exposing barren chests.
The Demise of the solo
Perhaps the biggest disappointment in the decline of Rock n' Roll is the low quality of music plaguing rock radio stations these days. Gone are the hits containing extravagant solos that developed chills down the spines of listeners.
Instead of those stellar tunes, bands are more content with leaning toward the middle and writing solos an intuitive grammar school band member could create. The end result is usually bland and forgettable.
Was it Nickelback or Puddle of Mudd that had the song about slapping asses?
Hail Satan!
Rock n' roll and the devil have always walked hand in hand. But Ozzy Osborne, the former prince of darkness, is now one of television's most beloved stars. How can a man who once snorted a line of fire ants and bit off a bat's head in front of a stadium of fans fit in a primetime TV slot? Some rockers still sport the devil in tattoos, but the effort is pretty half-assed (as is the music).
In a politically nation, the devil just doesn't fit in anymore. At least we still have Eminem.
Don't get on that plane!
Buddy Holly and co. died tragically in an airplane crash. Steve Ray Vaughn died after his helicopter crashed into the side of a mountain. John Denver also plummeted to his demise while flying in his own airplane. Wait, John Denver wasn't a rockstar, was he?
Rock n' rollers don't only fear flying machines though. Ground vehicles have also proved harmful to rockers. Metallica lost a bassist to a bus accident and several rockers have died from driving their fast cars too fast.
Def Leppard's drummer, Rick Allen only lost his arm after a car crash. Perhaps the rock n' roll Gods were smiling down at him.
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Last update: Thursday, November 11, 2004 at 11:55:38 PM
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