A man opened the driver's-side door of a woman who was stopped at an intersection in Warren, Mich., and threatened to shoot her if she didn't give him money. He was unarmed, but pretended to have a gun in his pocket.

So she grabbed her 9 mm handgun from the passenger seat, and pointed it at him. He fled.

AND DON'T FORGET THE TIP

A man broke into a bar in Baia Sprie, Romania, and, after emptying the cash register, decided to relax and have a few drinks. A great many drinks, actually. He got drunk and passed out, and was still unconscious when the owner arrived the next morning.

Before he called the police, the owner gave the burglar a bill for the booze he drank.

SO YOU SEE, I'M ACTUALLY INNOCENT

A woman in Watford, England, was cited for speeding. But she is refusing to pay the fine, claiming that the reason she was speeding was that the police were chasing her.

HE'S STILL A GUY, AFTER ALL

An elderly man in Chongqing, China, looking for a little female companionship, signed up with a matchmaking service. He wants an attractive woman under age 60 with her own money.

He warns, however, that he doesn't want a relationship that gets too serious, because he doesn't want to be "restricted by marriage." He is 94.

I THINK LASSIE'S TRYING TO TELL US SOMETHING

A Japanese company has invented a device it claims translates dog barks into human language. It classifies the barks into six emotional categories - happiness, sadness, frustration, anger, assertion and desire - and displays common phrases that most closely match the mood.

Marketed under the name Bowlingual, it will be appearing in pet stores this summer.

VERY WELL EXPLAINED, THANKS, MATE

A machinist in North Tyneside, England, accidentally cut off part of his thumb while on the job. Later, as he was demonstrating to his bosses what had happened, he cut off part of a finger.

BUT THIS IS AN ART PROJECT, HONEST

An art teacher at a junior high school in Nagoya, Japan, secretly aimed his digital camera up the skirt of one of his students to get a souvenir photograph for his collection.

He was fired after another student noticed what he was doing.

I MIGHT AS WELL GIVE UP

A man in Michigan almost rear-ended a police car then failed to pull over and led the cops on a high-speed chase.

It all came to an end when the driver pulled into the parking lot of the Wexford County Jail because he figured his arrest was inevitable. He was right.

HOLD ON, DUDE, THAT'S A LITTLE EXTREME

Officials in Copenhagen have announced that the city's 30-year-old hippie colony, known as the "free city," will be demolished as part of an urban renewal plan.

In response, the city's drug dealers went on strike.