Pulse
Single Holiday
Gary Gangi
Single Guy
Being single during the winter months can be difficult. Chilly nights in a bed big enough for two can make one yearn for a warm somebody to snuggle with. As the holiday season is upon us, insecurities may arise about our single status that seemed buried deep during the carefree summer months.
The holidays seem tailored for couples: Romantic evenings by the fireplace, Eskimo kisses and media filled with images of buying something thoughtful for that special someone. As the temperatures drop, it's all right for jealousy and depressing feelings to rise in singles. However, you can't let these feelings turn you into a yellow-stained snowball. There are plenty of reasons being unattached during the holidays can be its own blessing.
Keep in mind that all of your coupled friends will be in a more loving and generous spirit this time of year. As difficult as it may be to hear about their secret gifts and romantic notions, remember that they are the same friends you have had all along, so be supportive and suggest some of your own helpful ideas to create a special holiday for them as well. They will not forget your contributions and candidness when the snow begins to melt.
Although this is the season when it is better to give than receive, being single allows you to reap the benefits of both. With the money and time you will not have to spend on a significant other, you can indulge in self-gratifying and guilt-free gifts to yourself. A new book, a day at the spa, a new high-tech gadget and gourmet treats are ways to reward yourself for the holidays. You may also consider a mini exotic vacation to warmer climates. It is a perfect time of year to retreat to a hot destination, and scantily clad beach bunnies will be plenty to keep you thankful for being single. Your coupled friends will also see the advantages you have in being single and being able to pick up and go without the hassles or commitments of the holidays.
If you are one of the many who can't afford to get away for the holidays or prefer to stay close with family, then be prepared to combat single holiday blues on the home front. It is inevitable that your relatives will query your relationship status. Rather than engage in awkward talk about why you are single or listen to praises masking pity, redirect conversations to other areas of your life that reflect who you are, such as school or career. Being in a relationship should never be a defining characteristic of your quality of life.
Independence and a strong sense of self can prepare you for true happiness better than a temporary co-dependent relationship.
Just when you think you are in the clear, the last and perhaps most isolated holiday for singles approaches: New Years Eve. If you were fortunate to dodge the mistletoe, you won't be so lucky when the clock strikes midnight and being alone has no validation.
Although the holiday may seem like an uninviting one, remember you have a fun adventure ahead. While all of your coupled friends know exactly whom they will be planting their lips on at the beginning of 2004, you have endless possibilities. You are not the only single looking for an Eve of fun. So keep your eyes open for a single's holiday treat and let the countdown begin.
Do what you will with my advice, but don't take it too much to heart. After all, I am the Single Guy.
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