Arin Thompson
Daily Egyptian
Column Title: The Politics of Dancing
Headline: Lose Something?
Take your virginity for instance. However, what's lost can be found in a doctor's office, for a hefty price anyway.
The new rage in Los Angeles, according to "The View," is for women to reclaim their virginity. Plastic surgeons now have the ability to reconstruct a woman's hymen, making it impossible to tell if she's ever had a roll in the hay. This surgery can even fool gynecologists, according to California doctors.
I have a problem with this, obviously, or I wouldn't be writing about it - and the problems exist on so many levels.
Issue One: Virginity and Losing it.
DUH! It wouldn't be virginity if you could buy it back. I guess while we're busy reclaiming our youth via facelifts and tummy tucks, we might as well go all the way - literally - and then back again.
This is just one more step toward a totally messed-up future. Going by recent technological advancement, by the time I'm 84 I'll look better than I did when I was 20, and that's just disturbing.
People are meant to lose their virginity; it's part of growing up. It's part of making that really bad mistake in high school that you regret in college. It's part of being human. As far as I'm concerned, it comes with the territory and there should be no getting away from it.
Issue Two: The Scapegoat
The issue is receiving backing from people of the religious right and rape victims. I haven't heard from "The Man" himself, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't appreciate everybody cheating on the "save yourself for marriage" test.
As far as rape victims go, sure, I can understand that, no problem. However, there is one little stipulation riding the plastic surgery wave and it sure as hell isn't rape victims. It's middle-aged women from Hollywood who can't stand the fact that gravity is winning, and reclaiming their virgin status is just one more thing bringing them closer to that illusive fountain of youth. Well, it isn't fair for the rest of the world who can't afford to buy out reality.
Issue Three: Marriage
Okay, so the world is getting more liberal as the days tick by, but that doesn't change the fact that getting this surgery would be a pretty shady way to appear pure to your husband-to-be. If this truly becomes the case, Billy Idol will have to re-release "White Wedding."
Issue Four: PAIN
You heard me, and if you're a chick, you really know what I'm talking about.
Who in their right mind would want to go through that more than once? Does a prescription for Morphine come with this surgery. If not, it damn well should. The blood, sweat and tears that go into getting laid for the first time are equal to or worse than getting in a horrible car wreck.
My perception has always been that losing one's virginity is something that everybody just wants to get over with. I've heard stories, and some of them sound more like nightmares, and just because you regain virgin status does not mean that the night you lose it again will be perfectly romantic. If fact, it's probably just going to suck all over again.
Reporter Arin Thompson can be reached at athompson@dailyegyptian.com.
Published on 11/17/05; 12:24:44 PM
