The Daily Egyptian is published by the students of SIU at Carbondale. Except during vacations and exam weeks, The Daily Egyptian is published Monday through Friday during the fall and spring semesters and TWThF during the summer semester."

The blame game

Sexual assault is a crime so real, so prominent, that Ami Lilley, a coordinator for the rape crisis services at the Women's Center, said nobody's life is left unscathed.

"Statistics are staggering, and it is incomprehensible to think that there is anyone in this community whose life it has not affected or whose life it will not affect," Lilley said.

More than 700,000 women are sexually assaulted in the United States each year, and 80 percent of those attacked are assaulted by someone they know, according to a study made available by SIUC's Department of Public Safety. The department also reported only 50 percent of the crimes are reported.

"They may not be victimized themselves, but chances are their roommates, their friends, their sisters - somebody they know and care about is going to experience something like this at some point in their lives," Lilley said.

Sexual assault occurs each year on college campuses across the country, and researchers say the most common time frame for female college students to be raped is during the first three to six months of a freshman year.

But many victims blame themselves for their attacks, a feeling, experts say, society indirectly encourages.

Sean Black, communications coordinator for the Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault, said nonconsensual sex is the fault of the perpetrator, not the victim.

"If a woman says no, she means it," Black said. "Men have got to realize that if she is drunk, she may not be able to consent.

"Silence is not consent."

The ICASA has 33 community-based sexual assault crisis centers, which includes the Women's Center in Carbondale. Each center provides 24-hour crisis intervention services, counseling and advocacy for victims of sexual violence and their significant others.

Lilley has worked in counseling for nine years. She said she believes sexual assault is different than most crimes because society tends to question victims' actions, dress and whereabouts.

"It is a very dangerous thing to fall into that blaming pattern, but it is something that a lot of people do," she said. "I think that a lot of people do it without really thinking about how the questions they're asking sound to the victim of sexual assault."

In April 1973, a serial rapist assaulted and terrorized several women on the Indiana University campus. Stephen Thompson, then a graduate student and martial arts instructor, was asked by the administration to head a self-defense class for women in hopes of deterring the violence.

Two months after the program began, one of Thompson's students was raped.

"I taught her what to do, and I failed her," he said.

Through his own research, Thompson has become a national figure on the subject of sexual assault. He is the author of "No More Fear" and now works as the sexual assault services coordinator for Central Michigan University.

Thompson said people should hold the actions of the assaulter responsible, not the assaulted.

"It's a planned act of conquest," Thompson said. "Alcohol is a tool they use to get what they want."

Thompson was a media consultant on both the Kobe Bryant and Mike Tyson rape cases. He said both cases are classic examples of placing the blame on the victim, rather than the predator.

"Mike was responsible for his behavior," Thompson said. "Assault prevention needs to begin with the ones who assault. Their judgments and their responsibilities need to be evaluated."

Thompson also said while freshmen females are the most susceptible to sexual assault, the crime could happen to anyone, any time, anywhere.

"Bad things do happen to good people," Thompson said. "I have a black belt in karate, and I wouldn't choose to run in Central Park after dark, but that doesn't mean I deserve to be assaulted."

Robert Jenkot, who works in the department of Justice at the University of Alabama, said in an e-mail interview that he believes that the media conceptions of how men should act could be a contributing factor in sexual violence.

"I believe that the socialization of many males constructs masculinity and demonstrations of one's masculinity as paramount, with the idea being that to be a 'real man' you have to be tough physically, emotionally, have sex with women and often," said Jenkot, who was a former sociology lecturer at SIUC. "Such traditional and stereotypical conceptions of masculinity may be a driving force in sexual assault.

"Since when did 'No' mean 'Yes?' It does not, yet the idea that 'No' means try again later or buy her another beer feeds off of this misconception."

While women are the majority of sexual assault victims, Lilley said men have a "special responsibility" in that they can take a stand and refuse to be a part of the violence.

"If we want to truly prevent sexual assault, we have to talk to males," Lilley said. "We have to let them know that this isn't just a woman's issue. It affects men just as much as it does women. Men can be victims. Men can love the people who are victimized."

Jenkot suggested volunteering at the area crisis centers and getting involved in educational programs during awareness weeks as ways of protection against sexual assault.

"If you are not tuned into the issues of sexual assault, you may not hear about them," he said. "But a quick visit to the Women's Center will dispel that idea real quick."

A great reference for a woman, Thompson said, is to find a man she trusts and ask him for his opinion on a stranger.

"I know no men that would stand back and watch someone they care about wander into harm's way," he said.

Lilley said the best way to prevent sexual assault from happening is to learn more about subject.

"Sexual assault is never the fault of the victim, but it is always, exclusively and solely the responsibility and the fault of the perpetrator," she said.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, contact the Women's Center by phone at 549-4807 during regular business hours or call the 24-hour hotline at 1-800-334-2094. For more information on the ICASA, log on to www.icasa.org.

 

 

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