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SIUC support group helps heal old wounds

Ken Culton, coordinator and clinical counselor for the alcohol and other drug program, said those who grow up in an alcoholic household often fall on both sides of the emotional spectrum.

"I had a client tell me, 'I can't give something that wasn't given to me,'" Culton said. "And then I have others who say, 'I am either sensitive to everything,' or 'I feel nothing.

"Love and trust is difficult to pass on when they are not experienced."

Adult Children of Alcoholics is a support group held weekly and run by Culton. The group acts as "experiential therapy" where peers help each other deal with similarly shared issues.

Culton said he has presented this topic at several national and regional conferences and said he has found that ACOA is rare on college campuses.

"It became more clear that there wasn't anything for a problem that I believe to be relevant," Culton said. "And now, since I began the program, I consistently receive feedback from colleges that it was something they didn't have but wanted to start."

Culton said children of alcoholics often develop into one of four roles. Those roles are the hero, who is thrust into an adult role and forced to grow up quicker at the expense of childhood; the scapegoat, who is constantly trying to draw attention away from the parents' addiction; the loner, who always tries to be alone; and the mascot, the family clown who uses humor to keep the focus off the substance problems of the parent.

Cathy Shelton, graduate student in education psychology and assistant to Culton, said ACOA is set up for people to uncover the feelings that revolve around their childhood events.

"You don't realize what has happened until it crystallizes and begins to affect you," Shelton said. "They start to understand why things happened."

Now, Shelton has the "invigorating experience" of helping others work through their own problems, both past, present and future.

"I have seen people who were very angry and negative," she said. "I have seen people in complete denial finally make the connection that they did that to me and recognize the issue. I have seen people who made poor choices in relationships get out of those relationships because they realize they are similar to what they have gone through."

Watching others overcome their past mirrors her life experiences. Shelton's quest to become a school counselor began because she wanted "to help others just like me."

"For me, I knew when I was young, my mom went to Al-Anon, and I knew it was because my dad was an alcoholic," Shelton said. "When I was younger, I made poor choices that I don't make anymore."

Her past behind her, Shelton has now been able to triumph over her own problems and the suppressed feelings associated with them.

"I was so angry at what they did to me," she said. "We all have those moments. I knew I had to take responsibility, and I knew I had to take control of my own life."

Next semester, ACOA will resume, but Culton said he wants to add a second group to accommodate students' differing schedules.

"It's such a personal choice," Shelton said. "So often we think we can do it ourselves, but the important thing to know is you don't have to go at it alone. There are other people who have similar problems as you do.

"There is a group that is there to support you in your journey."

To receive more information on the ACOA support group or to find out when and where it will meet next semester, call the Wellness Center at 536-4441.

 

 

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