You call that a mascot?

Commentary

The trees are shedding their leaves.

The cool fall breezes are giving way to cold winter drafts.

The darkness arrives ever earlier each day.

The Saluki football team is sputtering toward the finish line.

All these signs point mercifully to the beginning of basketball season. With the new season come prognostications and rankings of teams, players and coaches.

You're probably tired of reading and hearing everyone say that Creighton and SIU are neck and neck at the top of the Missouri Valley Conference.

So let's delve a little deeper into the conference and rank the teams' nicknames and mascots.

1. SIU Salukis

You saw this one coming, didn't you? Of course the Salukis are No. 1 on my list. This nickname is unique and it relates to the university's location in Little Egypt, with towns such as Cairo and Thebes nearby.

2. Evansville Purple Aces

The Ace is an old-time riverboat gambler who has recently been becoming friendlier looking. The move to change the mascot's face from the hideous wooden one to a softer, more human face definitely scored Evansville a few more points in this ranking.

This guy looks like he's been in a few fights, and the ability to scare the opponent is key in a mascot.

3. Wichita State Shockers

This nickname came about from student-athletes who used to shock wheat all summer. The Shocker is now a piece of wheat with a scowling face.

Give Wichita points for originality. They're the only Shockers in the NCAA or its small-school equivalent, the NAIA. The nickname is also relevant to the area, but what can wheat do to its opponent other than sway menacingly in the breeze? At least they've personified the wheat and made it look cool.

4. Southwest Missouri State Bears

A boring nickname, but at least the presence of actual bears in Missouri's Ozark Mountains makes this choice relevant to the university.

The artist's rendering of the bear is also good. Although the bear is a well-used mascot, SMS' bear is at least unique in its appearance.

5. Indiana State Sycamores

The Sycamores are - well - they're trees! What kind of things can a tree do?

Stanford has a tree as a mascot, but at least they're sure of themselves enough to dress a student up as a tree. Indiana State doesn't even do this.

According to the university's website, the team formerly had a tree mascot, "but this posed obvious problems of embarrassment with other mascots, when the university played such schools as the Butler Bulldogs."

So in response to these embarrassments, the Sycamores gave up on their mascot. But instead of changing the school's nickname, they developed an animal mascot that resembles a fox.

I'd put them near the top of the rankings if they'd just commit themselves to the tree mascot instead of being overly concerned about dogs doing what dogs do to trees.

6. Creighton Bluejays

Being the only team in Division I with this nickname earned Creighton a higher ranking, but this is still just a boring bird mascot. What can a bluejay do to strike fear into the hearts of other mascots?

7. Illinois State Redbirds

Though they're the only team in the college ranks with this nickname, it's basically another word for cardinal, which is an all too common nickname, especially for Cubs fans.

Again, what can a largely herbivorous bird do to its opponent? At least a Saluki can bite and then outrun its opponent.

8. Northern Iowa Panthers

The only reason this nickname is not last is because the bulldog is an even more boring, predictable nickname, and because Bradley doesn't even have a mascot.

There are 30 teams with this nickname in the NCAA and NAIA. Picking a school nickname shouldn't just be an imitation of what everyone else is doing.

9. Drake Bulldogs

This team nickname is the blandest in the conference. Des Moines, Iowa, and bulldogs have no connection that I know of, and this is one of the most common nicknames in sports. There are 40 schools in the NCAA and NAIA with this nickname. I thought Drake was a top-flight school. Why couldn't they use some of that brainpower to come up with a more original and fitting nickname?

10. Bradley Braves

The Braves designation is just a name. There is no official mascot after the university's six-year experiment with the Bobcats mascot, which has no connection to the Braves. The logo doesn't even make reference to the nickname. It's just a 'BU' overlaid by the word 'Braves'.

Bradley's just avoiding controversy by not having any references to Native Americans, so they might as well change the nickname already.

Ethan is a senior in journalism. His views do not necessarily reflect those of the Daily Egyptian.