Saluki Dawg for president

Commentary

The 12 finalists for the Mascot of the Year were recently chosen and, surprisingly, the SIU Saluki was not on the list.

The Saluki, the truly unique mascot, the one that constantly prompts the question, "What's a saluki?" was not on the list.

Neither Brown Dawg nor Gray Dawg could be reached for comment, but they would probably growl at the selection committee for excluding them.

This was an inexcusable sleight by Capital One, the corporation sponsoring the contest.

The only dog on the list was the University of Tennessee's Smokey, the blue-ticked coonhound.

Smokey doesn't even compare to the Saluki in originality. Every hunter in Tennessee probably owns a coonhound, but how many people can claim to have their own saluki?

There were some other questionable selections to the list of finalists. Seymour the Eagle of the University of Southern Mississippi was also selected.

There are numerous teams nicknamed the Eagles, but how many schools can claim the saluki as a mascot?

The only salukis that I'm aware of other than ours are the Red Hill High School Salukis and Southwest Tennessee Community College's Saluqis.

But there are too many Eagles to even begin a tally.

Mascots should be unique to their university or their area of the country. They shouldn't be some generic animal that's representative of much of the country.

Big Red of Western Kentucky University is also a finalist, even though the average fan couldn't tell what it is.

A big red blob that looks like Barney or Grimace shouldn't be garnering this much attention.

Big Red, who's barely old enough to drink, has even been prominently featured in numerous ESPN promotional spots.

At least Saint Louis University's Billiken didn't make the finals. When people ask us what a Saluki is, we can actually give them an answer, unlike SLU fans.

Mascots shouldn't just be big unidentifiable shapes.

People who don't know what a saluki is would be able to tell it's a dog after attending a game, but good like identifying Western Kentucky's mascot.

We as fans of the Salukis should lobby ESPN to place our mascot in the national spotlight.

We should also start a write-in campaign and get the Saluki named Mascot of the Year.

But that could be just the beginning. The Saluki could use his national celebrity to launch a mayoral campaign.

As reported by the BBC, this really happened in England. H'Angus the Monkey, a mascot for the local soccer team, was actually elected mayor of the town on his free bananas platform.

If a mascot disciplined for simulating sex with women and inflatable dolls can win a race for mayor, anything is possible.

The Saluki could attract voters with a promise of no more spaying and neutering, bigger fire hydrants and a giant statue of a leg on the strip.

But there's no need to stop at mayor. Our last two presidents have shown that anyone can lead the country.

Bill Clinton and George W. Bush even have similar qualities to the saluki.

The saluki probably has a sex drive much like Bill Clinton's.

The saluki will be anyone's friend in exchange for a piece of meat, much like George W. Bush will befriend anyone who gives him a large campaign contribution.

The saluki and Bush are also similar in their intelligence levels.

So get ready to vote Saluki for president in 2004.

Ethan is a senior in journalism. His views do not necessarily reflect those of the Daily Egyptian.